With apols to Dr Seuss

Dr Seuss for L2Bers ... (with apologies to the Cat in the Hat)

The sun did not shine

It was too wet to play

So we sat in the house

All that wet, windy day?

Nope. Fiona and Ali,

Suze, Leah and me

Said “Let’s bike it to Brighton –

In time for our tea.”

Too wet to go out

Too insane to retreat

We got on our bikes

And set off down the street

And all I could think was “Oh

Shit

Shit

Shit

Shit

‘Cause I did not like it

Not one little bit

“Oh, my!”

I thought (????) “My!”

As that hill made me cry!

We looked!

Then we saw yet another appear!

We looked!

And we thought

Yay! A hill just for Leah

‘Cause Leah loves hills –

Greets each one with a cheer!

Said Al “Look, its wet,

And the sun is not sunny

But we can have

Lots of good fun that is funny.”

“I know some great hills we

could climb,”

said Suzanne,

(as she zipped up her alien suit)

“here’s the plan:

There’s some really steep hills

I will show them to you,

Fiona,

You’ll not mind at all if I do?”

And Fiona and I

Did not know what to say

So we looked at each other in utter

Dismay

But then Leah said “No!

Get that alien away!

Suze and Al, we do NOT want

to see hills today.

They should not be here

And we should not be out

They should not be here

When there’s cyclists about.”

“Now, now! Have no fear,

Have no fear!” Ali said

“The hills are not bad”

(she’s not right in the head!)

“Why, we can try

Lots of good cycling skills

With a game that I call

UP-UP-UP with the hills!”

“And then DOWN!” said Suzanne,

As she chomped on a bar,

“And then DOWN!” said Suzanne,

“which is better by far.”

But they lied! They both lied!

‘Cause the ‘downs’ were too few

And the wind was so strong

We could not see the view

Turner’s hill came and went,

And then more and then more,

And we laughed and we cried,

And we pedalled and swore!

And then Ditchling was there,

Which enlightened our mood,

Because lunchtime was looming

Hot drinks and some food!

“Look at us!

Look at us now!” we all laughed,

As the waiters and diners

Thought the lot of us daft!

Then alas, a dilemma,

Which gave us a scare,

As Ali yelled “Beacon! But

What shall I wear??”

Yes, she’d waited all day

For this moment, the thrill

Of defeating this absolute

bitch of a hill.

So we sorted her clothes,

Then she gave us a tip –

"2-1 girls, 2-1, then

RELAX!” (get a grip!)

“Yeah, right!”

We replied. And we packed up our stuff

And we hit Ditchling Beacon

And BOY!!! Was it tough!!

“Look at me!

Look at me!

Look at me NOW!”

Ali yelled from the top,

Yes, she’d done it – and HOW!

All hail, Queen of Hills,

And the rest of us puffed

But we all made the top

And we all felt quite chuffed!

Now then, just one more hill,

Then ‘twas down to the sea,

And we crested the rise

And we all shouted “Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!”

Then we spotted the pier

And took photos galore

And alcohol beckoned

So we climbed one hill more

And so L2B, it's the end,

So

so

so …

Next stop, Rajasthan,

Are you ready? Let’s go!

You are ALL just so fab,

And I’m proud fit to burst

And for Women for Women

We’ll conquer the worst

But in India, no hills?

What about our hills game?

Oh dear.

What a shame!

What a shame!

What a shame! (???)

So to India in style -

For this great common cause,

Let’s pedal for women and babes!

(now - applause?)

(concocted by the Brighton Prat in a Hat)