With apols to Dr Seuss

Dr Seuss for L2Bers ... (with apologies to the Cat in the Hat)

The sun did not shine

It was too wet to play

So we sat in the house

All that wet, windy day?

Nope. Fiona and Ali,

Suze, Leah and me

Said “Let’s bike it to Brighton –

In time for our tea.”

Too wet to go out

Too insane to retreat

We got on our bikes

And set off down the street

And all I could think was “Oh

Shit

Shit

Shit

Shit

‘Cause I did not like it

Not one little bit

“Oh, my!”

I thought (????) “My!”

As that hill made me cry!

We looked!

Then we saw yet another appear!

We looked!

And we thought

Yay! A hill just for Leah

‘Cause Leah loves hills –

Greets each one with a cheer!

Said Al “Look, its wet,

And the sun is not sunny

But we can have

Lots of good fun that is funny.”

“I know some great hills we

could climb,”

said Suzanne,

(as she zipped up her alien suit)

“here’s the plan:

There’s some really steep hills

I will show them to you,

Fiona,

You’ll not mind at all if I do?”

And Fiona and I

Did not know what to say

So we looked at each other in utter

Dismay

But then Leah said “No!

Get that alien away!

Suze and Al, we do NOT want

to see hills today.

They should not be here

And we should not be out

They should not be here

When there’s cyclists about.”

“Now, now! Have no fear,

Have no fear!” Ali said

“The hills are not bad”

(she’s not right in the head!)

“Why, we can try

Lots of good cycling skills

With a game that I call

UP-UP-UP with the hills!”

“And then DOWN!” said Suzanne,

As she chomped on a bar,

“And then DOWN!” said Suzanne,

“which is better by far.”

But they lied! They both lied!

‘Cause the ‘downs’ were too few

And the wind was so strong

We could not see the view

Turner’s hill came and went,

And then more and then more,

And we laughed and we cried,

And we pedalled and swore!

And then Ditchling was there,

Which enlightened our mood,

Because lunchtime was looming

Hot drinks and some food!

“Look at us!

Look at us now!” we all laughed,

As the waiters and diners

Thought the lot of us daft!

Then alas, a dilemma,

Which gave us a scare,

As Ali yelled “Beacon! But

What shall I wear??”

Yes, she’d waited all day

For this moment, the thrill

Of defeating this absolute

bitch of a hill.

So we sorted her clothes,

Then she gave us a tip –

"2-1 girls, 2-1, then

RELAX!” (get a grip!)

“Yeah, right!”

We replied. And we packed up our stuff

And we hit Ditchling Beacon

And BOY!!! Was it tough!!

“Look at me!

Look at me!

Look at me NOW!”

Ali yelled from the top,

Yes, she’d done it – and HOW!

All hail, Queen of Hills,

And the rest of us puffed

But we all made the top

And we all felt quite chuffed!

Now then, just one more hill,

Then ‘twas down to the sea,

And we crested the rise

And we all shouted “Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!”

Then we spotted the pier

And took photos galore

And alcohol beckoned

So we climbed one hill more

And so L2B, it's the end,

So

so

so …

Next stop, Rajasthan,

Are you ready? Let’s go!

You are ALL just so fab,

And I’m proud fit to burst

And for Women for Women

We’ll conquer the worst

But in India, no hills?

What about our hills game?

Oh dear.

What a shame!

What a shame!

What a shame! (???)

So to India in style -

For this great common cause,

Let’s pedal for women and babes!

(now - applause?)

(concocted by the Brighton Prat in a Hat)

28th OCTOBER - LONDON TO BRIGHTON

Clocks changed so at least we got a little extra sleep. Up at 6, on the road by 7. Fiona joined us - from somewhere Southampton-direction, too.

The first few miles were hell, I have to say. I was feeling really down - tired from yesterday PLUS my bloody period, of course (have I had a cycling weekend yet WITHOUT a period? NO, is the answer to that!). So I was a bit of a whinge, I admit to feeling like I was going to throw up and I was very worried because I seemed to be struggling even on flat ground (which, admittedly, there didn't seem to be very much of!)

I don't know what I would have done without the group. Goodness - Alison and Suzanne and Fiona - all waiting, smiling and sooooooooooooooo encouraging around every corner and at the top of every hill. I'm sure they were completely fed up with me and thought I was a real party-pooper, but I swear I tried my best! I did! Honestly! Only cried once. What a wimp I am!! Leah, bless her, was with me and struggling with the hills, too, so it was great to have company at the back, too.

I came to despise hills with names, because they're so obviously 'important hills', in other words, in terms of incline! Turner's hill should be illegal. Let's not even talk about Ditchling Beacon.

All in all, though, we made pretty good time. Everybody was fantastic and there were no mishaps. We were all really looking forward to arriving at Ditchling for lunch and food and hot drinks were greatly appreciated. The other diners thought we were nuts - and Leah got done out of a decent lunch with a measly portion of cheese on toast - but all in all, it did the job.

We laughed a lot, then it was back to important things. Alison was worried about what to wear to tackle the Beacon, which DID make us laugh a lot - but nothing like her 'tip of the day', but words don't really do it justice. The tip was '2-1 and just r-e-l-a-x' - but without the accompanying actions it doesn't work.

Ditchling Beacon (or Bitchling, should I say) - was unrelenting. Alison, bless her strength of will, made it to the top in one go. I still can't believe she did that. I know in a million years of training I would NEVER make it to the top. Still can't see past the first two corners. It was unbelievable. But we ALL made it to the top, spurring each other on. I was just chuffed that I didn't walk any of it. I stopped many, many times, but decided I didn't care how many times, just as long as I didn't take a step on foot. I don't know if that counts as 'cycling' up Ditchling Beacon, but it does in my book!

Much hilarity and hysteria at the top. The wind for the last ten metres was unbelievable - it was almost as bad as the hill and we all really had to fight and battle just to keep moving forwards. It was horrible weather by then. It had rained and was windy all the way but it was moving towards 'stormy' now so the run 'down' (finally) to the sea front was more than a little welcome. A quick photo shoot in front of the stormy seas at the pier, a lot of cheering, and we headed back up to my house for hot choc, cognac and wine.

My thoughts on the day: Very chuffed that I did it - and yesterday, too. Also amazed at the strength of these women I'm riding with - it's actually humbling and I couldn't have done it without them. Same goes for the Cotswolds weekends - these people are just fantastic. Strength and patience and courage and goodwill - it's a fantastic experience just to be with them.

My thoughts on cycling: (unprintable)

General: Yep! Was thinking about this - decided that I will, at any time, do uptown, upbeat, up tempo, upmarket (definitely) - and even upside down, but I do NOT do upHILL!!!!!!!!

That's all, folks.

Saturday 27 October

Yes, I know I said I'd do it and .............. I did!!!

Set off at 11 a.m. on route to London.

Two words.

NEVER (that's one)
AGAIN (that's the other)

I don't really now what possessed me to think that somehow between the South Downs and the Cairngorms, the entire British Isles are FLAT! Perhaps it was just wishful thinking, but anyway ...

I didn't take cycle routes - I used Google Maps and simply went the A roads. Partly because I was terrified of getting completely lost on some wild cycle cross-country route - so I opted for the direct one. Unfortunately, it didn't say it was uphill all the way to London! At least, that's what it felt like. I'll admit it. I cried!

I did the first 26 miles in great time - over Devil's Dyke, through Henfield and up to Horsham. It was great - hills and all. From there on, unfortunately, I'd like to use the expression 'things went downhill', but I'd be lying! It was definitely an uphill struggle. Not helped by the fact that I'd planned to stop for lunch in a nice pub - but between Horsham and a mere 8 miles from Sutton, I never passed one single bloody pub, petrol station, shop, cafe ... NOT ONE!!!!! Granted, I was too wound up to be hungry, but my body definitely needed energy and there's was nowhere to get anything, so I survived on my snack bar and a handful of fruit and nuts until 4 p.m. when I came across my first pub. Yes, I'd already cried. I was at the end of my tether as I got to Reigate - and then came to an almighty hill that in my eyes (at that moment) would have rivalled Ditchling Beacon! I admit, I had to get off, I had to walk, push and I suppose it was only the fact that there was no alternative available that I HAD to keep going. Got to the top eventually and found a pub.

Amazing. Soon as I had a cuppa in front of me - never mind the food - I already felt so much better. Plus the fact that I only had eight miles to go. And, bless, it was a really easy (and at that point not only welcome but enjoyable, too) eight.

Arrived at Alison's around 5-ish and got a fab welcome. Hot bath awaited - and tea and wine and then Chinese ... just bliss!!! Suzanne from Cycle India 2 came over for dinner- and Leah arrived up from Southampton, so the company was just brilliant.

But still .... NEVER AGAIN!

Help

I've decided to take the plunge and cycle up to London tomorrow to meet with Alison (and Leah, later on), to then cycle back to Brighton on Sunday. I'm a wimp. I was waiting for the weather forecast before making up my mind! Unfortunately, it's quite favourable so I've no excuse!!

Anyway - travelling, as you can imagine, very light! BUT I can't make up my mind what to take along ... and this is only for ONE NIGHT!!! How the hell am I going to pack for India if I can't pack for 24 hours?????

Been a while ...

Yep! But I'm happy that I'm not the only one. I thought it might have been just me who suddenly got very tired and demotivated and felt not a bit like cycling! But it's given me a boost knowing there are others in our group who are feeling similar.

Just haven't been able to get it together at all. Of course, I haven't left training completely. I've been working hard on my stamina with karate, kickboxing, running and the gym. I just haven't been on my bike. I think it's the fact that I don't relish three or four hours on my own, never quite sure where I'm going and it's bloomin' cold now, too. It'd be OK if I was running or walking - because then I can plug into music and it's great, but I don't dare do that on my bike. I know some people do and I think they're nuts, to be honest. On the narrow roads where I cycle the only warnings I get of fast cars are hearing them zooming up behind me.

Anyway - all has not been completely lost. Sponsorship money is still coming in - people are still being fantastic. And I've been busy getting my vaccinations and visa sorted out - equally important! I've been lucky enough to need hardly any vaccinations as I've still got everything since my last trip to India. I was just waiting for the consensus on the malaria aspect of things and have decided to ditch the tablets and go for high-strength sprays and creams, etc. It's a very low risk area and I know lots of people are doing the same.

As for my visa ... well, I went to London one day and the queue at the embassy went all the way into next week so I did a quick turn-around and went back to the 'agency' idea. Fortunately, I'd already been in touch with one of the agencies recommended via the Embassy website, because my passport is a bit 'unusual' - and they'd agreed to do it so long as I provided a couple of extra documents. Seems I made the right choice, since the agency recommended by Cycle India was so inundated with applications that they had to start refusing them. My visa was done and ready in 4 days - they were really quick and uncomplicated.

Now - on to the packing ... but you know me, it'll be the night before ...

Sunday, by the way - I'm meeting up with a few Cycle India ladies and we're doing London to Brighton. I'm going up by train to stay with Alison (very kindly) on Saturday so we can get a good start Sunday morning (clocks go back then, too, so working in our favour). Have just had a wild idea this morning, though, that I might cycle up Saturday, too. That would make it a really good 'last fling' training weekend for me and I'd be pretty chuffed afterwards - might be what I need right now. I'll let you know ... need to look at some routes.

So ... watch this space!